It was but yesterday when you were so new...

Your tiny new-born head rests against my shoulder;
To the world: a mother cradles her child.
The world doesn't know;
From each tiny little breath that fills your tiny heaving chest;
I draw refuge, courage and strength;
It is the child that cradles his mother.


I remember when you were a figment of my imagination. You could be anything and everything I wanted you to be. You were the epitome of perfection and we would have the best time together.

I remember when I found out you were actually going to be. I was ecstatic. I was on top of the world! I was brimming with confidence. I was a nervous wreck. I was more alive than ever. I was lost in the mist of my day-dreams more than ever. I dispaired over the world I had chosen to bring you into. I hoped your existence would magically change that world. I cried more and laughed more. I danced so much. I sang with more vigour. I was walking on air.

I remember when you were a stranger. A face I had never seen before. Your tiny little body was so much for me to handle. I struggled to hold you the right way. My arms hurt. my back hurt. I was so tired... but I was so happy to see you! I didn't know who you were or who you would become. I was lost and bewildered. For the life of me I could never figure out if that was an "I'm hungry" cry, or an "I'm sleepy" cry. I felt so powerless. I felt so powerful. I was your mommy! I finally found out who I was and what I was worth. You made me feel like a billion dollars!

I remember waiting for those precious eyes to open. I remember waiting for your first smile, your first sounds, your first tooth. I remember watching you sleep as you clutched my hair so tightly in your hands. I remember waiting for you to grow. I remember the first time you held your bottle all by yourself! I remember that first kiss and how it took me by surprise... you pulled me in by my hair and planted a whole lot of spit on my cheek and then pulled back with a gleam in your eyes and the sweetest smile on your face! I remember when you first said "dada". I remember waiting for "mama" and, boy, did you make me wait!

Preschool was tumultuous... They called you "an interesting child." You were too young, too innocent to vocalize it, but I felt the pangs of stress within you. To me you were always a beautiful child... that fluttering butterfly always stopping to smell the flowers, and always on it's way to some place unbeknownst, perhaps, even to itself.  I remember awakening once to the horrifying realization that I may have lost your wonderful laugh to those horrible, monsterous pangs of preschool. But just when I was beginning to lose hope and resigning myself to be swollowed whole by that dark vortex of doubt those teachers and those schools had cast us into, I saw the sparkle in you resurface, and soon you had us floating over rainbows again with your magical fairy dust!


You made me believe in myself more than ever. You made me doubt myself more than ever. If ever I felt I couldn't face the day, I kicked myself out of bed just because you were there. If ever I felt I had you all figured out, you never failed to remind me that I had tons to learn still.


You inspire me to do more... to write more, to think more, to feel more.  You have taught me to take a moment... to lie in the grass and feel a ladybug crawl up the side of my face.... to pick flowers from the road side.... to sing for the fun of it and make up the words when I forget.


And to like strawberries... even though I never liked strawberries before - EVER.


You have these bright smiling eyes - inquiring and curious, brimming with intelligence and wonder. I remember staring into them in those wee hours when you'd keep me awake, oh those beautiful eyes! In them I rediscover my own youth, my childhood innocence and wonderment. I can now see the world as you do and delight in its every turn, rejoice in it's every moment...


I feel like a child with you. And I feel wiser than ever with you.


These past couple of years I have seen you blossom and the world is beginning to see a hint of the wonderful, charming, kind and bright human being you will grow up to be. I have witnessed your profound understanding and empathy... and then there is your fantastic sense of humor! I pray that the world will always be kind to your gentle mind and earnest heart. I pray that God may guide you in every moment and enlighten you. Always know that when you have no one else, you will always have Him. I pray He keeps others from changing you into some cookie-cutter version of a human being; to allow your distinctive colors to add vibrance to the lives around you... because the world will be better for it. May you be an emblem of hope and of good things to come.


Your father and I are the luckiest people on earth to have been blessed with you. Thank you for a wonderful 6 years and we look forward to a lifetime of fun ahead....


Happy birthday, my darling Sheheryar. I love you so much.