Letting Go...

For the longest time, my computer's time and date were set to US Central Time, reflecting the time in Houston. Then one day, some eight weeks following our move to Cairo, I finally mustered the courage to face up to reality.

"Look", I told myself, "You're home is in Cairo now, not in Houston. You're not going back to Houston any time soon. So let go... let that clock in the corner of your screen show what time it is here and not what it is half way across the world, change your homepage because you don't have SBC Yahoo DSL in this part of the world, stop putting your toothbrush back into it's travel case whenever you're finished with it, and stop agonizing yourself incessently by attempting to calculate the time in Cairo everytime by counting 8 hours ahead of what it shows on your watch."

It was a harsh yet necessary talk, and after dragging my feet another week, I finally gave in. I fixed the time and date on my computer, set my watch to the right time, put away my toothbrush's travel case, and emptied out our suitcases completely and put them away. I stopped checking the weather in Houston, cancelled my email subscription for coupons and store specials from the Houston malls and Supermarkets, and stopped picturing how pleasantly sunny my kitchen used to be in the mornings, with clear blue sky hanging on the kitchen window. Here, my kitchen is devoid of any natural light, and the sky here is some brownish hue attempting to be blue but failing miserably. I kept myself busy with thoughts about getting new furniture and accessories for the new place, and figuring out the budget and groceries. I thought about my upcoming trip to Pakistan for Bhaijan's wedding and to clear our container from customs. Soon, Houston became one of the furthest things from my mind. I had accepted Cairo as my home, figured out some of the streets, made a few friends, started thinking about what lay ahead and everything was working out just fine.

On my way back from Lahore last week, I thought about how I should have gotten the battery changed on our watches while I was in Lahore because the last ones we got from the generic store in Houston only lasted six months, whereas the one's we got put in from that store in Liberty Market lasted a good two years. Then... a fleeting thought... I figured, no problem, we could just ask Bailey Banks, and Biddle next time we went to the Houston Galleria if they could put in some longer lasting batteries since they dealt in good watches... I suddenly stopped myself. "Fariha, we don't live in Houston any more, we live in Cairo."

Why is it so hard to let go?